Suicide by Bully

I heard last night that a child in Washington, IL took his own life after experiencing bullying.  I don't know any details but my heart aches for him and his family.  And yes, even for the bully himself.  Some may wonder how I can feel bad for the one who has caused this death when the child we have lost leaves behind grieving loved ones.  I feel bad because this person will now have the death of someone on his conscious the rest of his life.  The issues making him a bully were already enough. I feel bad for the next kid who is bullied and gives up.  I feel bad for the next family that grieves. I feel bad for the community that is impacted in these situations.  Nobody wins.

I worry more because Pekin has been the victim to many young suicides over the years I have lived here. The tragedy doesn't need to continue.  All we have to do is help our children no longer be a victim.  To no longer fear who they are and stand up to other's fear.  I am not just talking about bullying.  Maybe you or your child are not victims of bullying, yet.  Maybe, you just feel like you don't fit in.  Sometimes this is all it takes.  Please watch for the warning signs.  Please be proactive.  Help your child become the strong adult you want them to be before it is to late.

Signs Your Child Is Being Bullied

Here are possible warnings that a child may be bullied and needs your support. Of course, these signs could indicate other problems, but any of these warrant looking into further. Every child is different and any child can have an “off” day, so look instead for  a pattern of behavior that is not typical for your child.

1. Unexplained physical marks, cuts, bruises and scrapes
2. Unexplained loss of toys, school supplies, clothing, lunches, or money
3. Clothes, toys, books, electronic items are damaged or missing or child reports mysteriously “losing” possessions
4. Doesn’t want to go to school or other activities with peers
5. Afraid of riding the school bus
6. Afraid to be left alone: wants you there at dismissal, suddenly clingy
7. Suddenly sullen, withdrawn, evasive; remarks about feeling lonely
8. Marked change in typical behavior or personality
9. Appears sad, moody, angry, anxious or depressed and that mood lasts with no known cause
10. Physical complaints; headaches, stomachaches, frequent visits the school nurse’s office
11. Difficulty sleeping, nightmares, cries self to sleep, bed wetting
12. Change in eating habits
13. Begins bullying siblings or younger kids. (Bullied children can sometimes flip their role and become the bully.)
14. Waits to get home to use the bathroom. (School and park bathrooms, because they are often not adult-supervised, can be hot spots for bullying).
15. Suddenly has fewer friends or doesn’t want to be with the “regular group”
16. Ravenous when he comes home. (Bullies can use extortion stealing a victim’s lunch money or lunch.)
17. Sudden and significant drop in grades. (Bullying can cause a child to have difficulty focusing and concentrating.)
18. Blames self for problems; feels “not good enough”
19. Talks about feeling helpless or about suicide; runs away.